From Smokin’Goat (dot com!)
Welcome to Smokin’ Goat Racing
At Smokin’ Goat Racing, we offer tips, tricks, advice and such on racing your go-fast car, which really ought to be a 911, unless you can’t afford one, in which case you really need to get a better job, which clearly isn’t our problem.
Ask Mr. Goat:
Dear Mr. Goat:
After driving my 911 SC 3.4 on the track, I often notice an off “kathumpa-thumpa” sound. It seems to come from a different corner of the car after every event, and sometimes changes in intensity between run groups. I fear I may be damaging my wheel bearings or possibly my alignment by the tremendous G-forces created just before the tires lose traction. Oh yes, I forgot to mention it, but the car exhibits and odd switch from understeer to oversteer to no steer prior to the onslaught of these vibra-noises. the car is well prepared and I run ZR-Rated racing tires. On careful examination, the wheel weights seem to stay in more of less the same place, although I recently have experiences a problem with self-ejecting lug nuts.
Signed,
Hopeless in Hockessin
Dear Hopeless:
I suggest you refrain from using soft compound racing tires at these events. Hard compound tires (such as Sears RoadHandler Radials) will not generate those damaging G-forces which may have effected your suspension (and perhaps your equilibrium!) You will also enjoy a peaceful Delta88 like ride on your way to and from the track. Lastly, when your car does lose its composure, the tires will remain more or less round instead of becoming D-shaped, which, I suspect, is the cause of your dilemma.
Dear Mr. Goat:
After reading your last article I ran right out and purchased some of those Sears RoadHandler Radials you recommended. Although the handling is quite satisfactory (1987 924 S), I am experiencing a loud squealing noise when I go around corners. The tires are SR rated 60 series and I rarely go faster than the 110 miles per hour they are rated for. I have tried adding more air, but when I got to 50 psi, I decided to give up.
Signed,
Lost in Laurel
Dear Lost:
You have been barking up the wrong valve stem. The solution is quite simple. At Manny-Moe-and-Jackville you’ll find a tube of Anti-Squeal in the fluids section right next to the Motor Honey and Marvel Mystery Oil. Spread some of this stuff liberally on your sidewalls and the problem will magically disappear. It has a very attractive blue color, but if that is not to your liking you can always cover it up with some Tire-Black.
Dear Mr. Goat:
About three years ago, I leased a Boxster S, brand new. I drove it for a couple of years, then drove off into a gravel pit at the track and my wife said “Get Rit of Zat Sing!” Being really smart, I took a bath on it and bought (well, really leased) a brand new Jeep Rubicon. I mean who can argue with sub-SUV like handling, a floppy canvas top, terrible gas mileage, and the ability to be pulled out of mud bogs along the canal by your good redneck buddies!
Well, after a year of being shunned by the Porsche club, I wised up and got rid of the Jeep (at a loss) and bought a Miata. I also planned on borrowing every last nickel I could get my hands on to buy a C2 from a local mechanic and former friend. He changed out the exhaust for me so it would pass emissions, got it inspected tagged in Delaware (at a cost of $640) and even got all the title work done, but when he wouldn’t lie about the sales price so I could get a $4,000 bigger loan, I decided he must be a bum so I backed out at the last minute via e-mail after not answering calls all day. Now I really need a sports car since my wife hates the Miata just as much as the Boxster. Any suggestions?
Signed,
Exasperated in Elkton
Dear Exasperated:
Go away. You are dead to us.
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